The next day I had a date with Jeremy. We were meeting in his neighborhood, which I took to be a sign we might end up at his apartment. Sometime between meeting him and now, I don’t know when -- I’d decided we’d have sex, if I had any say in the matter.
Once again we ended up in a quiet corner of a dimly lit wine bar, eating tapas. At last, as we gave up on our food, he kissed me (Or did I kiss him? No doubt I gave him hints) and wound his arms around me. I think he was feeling me up.
“I can’t do this here,” I said, smiling and burying my head against his shoulder. Which meant: Let’s go back to yours.
Which we did without further discussion. Jeremy lives on the fifth floor of a walkup, and by the time we reached his apartment I was panting.
He has what was originally part of a larger apartment, and since he moved in, has been making improvements. To wit: he tore up the bathroom floor, put the bathtub in the kitchen, and no longer has a kitchen sink. He’s on his fourth contractor. Jeremy showed me his plans for the apartment (sadly his bedroom will be quite small and just opposite the front door) but after he'd walked me through the projected redesign, we started kissing again.
He had a low Ikea bed with an extraordinarily thin but heavy comforter, mmm. Naked, Jeremy had a fairly large stomach, as I’d surmised. It stuck out, like a little kid’s. In the dark I kissed his hairless chest and soft skin.
His dick wasn’t enormous, but what the hell. I went down on him, as is my wont, licking and sucking. As we were about ready to have sex I made my little speech: "Um, listen, I just want you to know -- I'm not monogamous," I said. "I'm very careful and always use condoms, but I wanted you to know..." I floundered.
Yes, there was probably a better time to broach the topic. I just hadn't been able to figure out when it was.
Jeremy looked surprised, but then he rallied: "I'm dating other people, too," he said. I kind of doubted that.
I decided to forgo asking Jeremy my list of questions, since he's a nice Jewish boy and I guessed that the chances of him having had sex with men, prostitutes or drug users was fairly small ... a bit of prejudice in his favor, but I felt confident that his sexual history would not give me pause.
We started kissing again. When Jeremy put on the condom I announced “I’m going to ride you,” and lowered myself onto him. “You like that?” I asked. This was a rhetorical question. I hoped.
“Yeah, I do,” he breathed.
In the dark I moved above him. “I was checking out your tits when we first met,” he sighed as I angled myself so he could suck my nipples.
“Yeah, did you like them?”
“Yeah, I did,” Jeremy said, smiling at the dark. I liked how he didn’t just say “Yeah,” but “Yeah, I did…”
Despite my efforts, I didn’t come. So he got on top of me and started thrusting away. This was a revelation: he fucked me really, really hard. I mean, he reamed me, just kind of slammed into me. I was totally taken aback. But I kind of liked it.
After he came, we lazed about in one another's arms in the dark, and Jeremy said he didn't want to be single anymore: "I'm ready for the next stage," he explained. "Most of my friends are married now and having kids, and I see that and I want it, too."
And then he said, “You know, I kind of wish you were five years older…” meaning, I think, in the same place as he is. When he had asked me about my current, uh, lifestyle, I'd explained that yes, I did want a steady monogamous relationship, marriage and kids, only in about five years' time. And when Jeremy said he wished I was older, I felt the stirrings of, I don’t know, not affection, cause I liked him already, but a different kind of interest. Jeremy’s a bona fide adult (after all, he owns his own apartment!) but he has shaggy hair and listens to Yo La Tengo. He's so smart, yet he's not condescending and doesn’t even seem that much older than me, perhaps because he looks a bit like a kid. And it’s so nice to meet a man who wants marriage and children, and fairly soon, unlike some people I could name (Daniel). And isn’t afraid to say it. Even though I don’t want those things right now, I do want them eventually and it occurred to me that Jeremy, or someone very like him, could be that eventually. The thought was both surprising and appealing. I spent the rest of the night drifting in and out of sleep, fantasizing that Jeremy and I were cool grup parents in his remodeled East Twenties' apartment.
Anyway, soon it was Monday morning and I had to go to work. Later he emailed me:
“I’m sleepy but that was really fun.”
Good form, emailing the person you’ve just slept with right away! Jeremy appeals more and more.