I Get My Priorities Straight.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” I said, settling onto Jefferson’s couch next to Mmmark. “I had to groom.” I examined my newly vermilion-ed nails complacently.

“You’re late because you had to do your nails?” asked Mmmark.

When he put it that way, it did sound frivolous. “Well, yes,” I said, a little shamefaced.
Mmmark maintained a straight face. After all, he is very polite. Jefferson smirked – he is not nearly as well mannered.

“Come on!” I said, warming to the theme. “Look, I couldn’t lose ten pounds this afternoon, but I could damn well shave my legs, blow dry my hair and paint my nails. I want to look my best, you know.”

Jefferson sat down on my other side, and glanced at my hands. “Very nice,” he said.

**

There were supposed to be more of us, but it had turned out to be just Mmmark, Jefferson, and me. We sat on the sofa talking and drinking. Then Mmmark’s cell phone rang, and he excused himself to answer it.

I would have thought the prelude to a threesome would trump a phone call –I was a little miffed, frankly.

“Sorry,” Mmmark explained afterwards. “My roommate’s friend is staying with us and he doesn’t have a key, and …”

Oh: Mmmark was answering his phone because he was nice. He was a good host, not making plans to get a beer post threesome, then. I beamed at him.

Despite several more calls of this ilk, we were all pretty relaxed. So relaxed, in fact, that I almost forgot what we were here for and was surprised when Jefferson announced, “Come on!” and grabbed me.

“Hey!” I exclaimed. “I’m enjoying this conversation.” Mmmark was telling us about how he’d been an extra in a Bollywood film. Well, it was interesting.

Jefferson ignored me and gestured to Mmmark. They lifted my bodily off the couch and carried me down the hall, like a chair.

“Hey!” I said again. But really, I didn’t mind at all.

**

In Jefferson’s bedroom I was dumped on the bed. I smirked at the ceiling. Jefferson had a bottle of poppers on his bedside table. I looked at the small brown glass bottle: LEATHER CLEANER, it read. NOT TO BE INGESTED.

Leather cleaner, I thought. Who knew? Fuck it. I reached over and held the bottle up to my nose. Poppers smell like ammonia. I can’t imagine how bad it must be for you, to deliberately inhale leather cleaner or worse. But here I was, on Jefferson’s bed, sniffing toxins and preparing to fuck two men.

The blood rushed to my head and my ears burned. My head flopped back onto the pillow and I exhaled.

We undressed in the orange glow of Jefferson’s bedside lamp. I felt very blasé, being in bed with Jefferson and Mmmark. Just a few months back, all of this – from just lying in bed with Jefferson to having my very first threesome with him and Daniel -- had been intimidating. Now here I was, lounging around like it was an everyday occurrence for me.

Jefferson placed himself on top of me, pressing his body close to mine. I leaned up towards him. From behind him I saw Mmmark slide against Jefferson; our eyes met.
Jefferson and I started to kiss, but I was distracted. I was considering how to arrange the fantasy I hadn’t managed to fulfill with Jefferson and Daniel during our earlier threesome: I wanted to be fucked from behind by Jefferson while I blew Mmmark. The numbers were right, and it was up to me to make it happen. After a bit, emboldened or perhaps just dazed by the leather cleaner, I arranged myself on my stomach and kind of dove at Mmmark.

Oh. Oh. Mmmark’s dick felt great in my mouth. I could have sucked him off for hours, or at least until my lips went numb. This wasn’t an option, though: within minutes Jefferson had me on my back for what I call the Jefferson Special – this is where I (or anyone else, I assume) lies on the bed with his/her legs in the air while Jefferson, standing at the corner of the bed, fucks away with workmanlike determination. My legs were slung around his neck. After a moment Jefferson pulled out so that Mmmark could fuck me. Oh, Christ.

I lay on my back and gazed at Mmmark, my chest thrust towards him, wondering if I looked like I felt – all docile and sexed up and wanting more, more. Again, though, there was no time for leisure or even talking: before long Mmmark had pulled out of me and I started to ride Jefferson while Mmmark watched. I inhaled some more leather cleaner and for a second I thought I was going to faint, or throw up. I almost had to stop fucking while I tried to find my center of gravity and calm the buzzing in my brain.

Then the phone rang.

“Excuse me,” said Mmmark. “I have to take this.” And he left the room.

I’m sorry, but this is a hot threesome! I felt a little indignant. I paused mid-stroke, listening to Mmmark’s voice, strained with politeness. I met Jefferson’s eyes. Despite myself, I giggled. Then I went back to fucking Jefferson, trying to concentrate on his skin and body. But I was still float-y and distracted, due in part to the poppers and in part because I could hear Mmmark murmuring into the phone down the hall.

Eventually Mmmark came back, and I slid off Jefferson. This was the other thing I wanted: I wanted to see Jefferson fuck Mmmark. I’d never seen two men have sex before, and the idea turned me on so much, especially cause it was Mmmark, who is so easy-going and gentle and at the same time very male and straight looking.

Jefferson knew all this, of course. He gave me a conspirator’s smile as he wrapped his arms around Mmmark and kissed him. Then he slid on a condom, squinting as he pulled it over his erection. Mmmark lay on his back, smiling up at him.

I think I was holding my breath. I never realized that two men could fuck like this, face to face. In the movies there’s always one guy banging away at the other from behind. Which, come to think of it, is probably so the filmmakers can get a full body shot. In the movies when two men fuck they seem to be in a private place inside their own skin, the orgasm a private ecstasy. But Jefferson and Mmmark had none of that impersonal erotic fervor. Instead Jefferson was facing Mmmark, lifting him off the bed as he slid his dick inside Mmmark’s ass. I inhaled sharply. Mmmark strained and then relaxed his torso, smiling beatifically all the while. I covered my mouth with my hand, stunned and impressed.

They fucked for a while, gazing at one another, and then I ended up sitting on Mmmark’s face. I’m sure I didn’t take the initiative there, I didn’t have it in me to interrupt their fucking. But it did feel good, all slippery and soft. I groaned. Then I sucked Mmmark a bit more. But I felt strangely detached, as though I was watching them, and myself, from afar. Like we were performers in a dance.

Eventually we untangled ourselves and lay in a companionable sprawl on the bed. Our conversation meandered towards the notion of a sex bloggers’ parade, complete with floats.

“And yours could be called Jefferson’s Starship,” I said to Jefferson, rather wittily. Or Jefferson’s Airplane, if he wanted to be retro.

“And people would cry, ‘Look, there’s Lily, from ‘Living Somewhat Dangerously,’” Mmmark suggested.

“‘And look it’s Mmmark!’”

“And we could stand on the floats and throw beads to the crowd.”

“Like at Mardi Gras!”

I was picturing what I would wear to this parade when Mmmark shifted and stretched: “I think it’s time for me to go,” he announced.

I was disappointed: “Already?” I wanted another go-round. I met Jefferson’s eyes.

“Yeah, I have to get home.”

“Oh, OK.” Mmmark dressed and then Jefferson and I followed him to the living room, where we made our goodbyes. Then I slouched back to Jefferson’s bed. Jefferson got into bed next to me, looking wiped out.

I curled up next to Jefferson and tried ignore my nagging dissatisfaction. Not one of us had come.