Coincidence? I Think Not.

This other thing happened that I just want to mention.

A few weeks ago I Hotlisted this guy on the Nerve personals. Hotlist is an option where you make a note of someone you like. The people you note can see who Hotlisted them -- it’s a totally non-committal way to express interest. I use it all the time, so as to not have to make an effort. Passive aggressive, and yet it works!

Anyway, this guy, Tom, emailed me after I’d hotlisted him. We had arranged to get a drink last Thursday, but he cancelled on me a few days prior. He said he was swamped with work but thought he’d be available the following week. I said no problem. Then on Saturday afternoon I got an email from him: he’s met someone new and can’t meet me after all.

Of course I don’t begrudge him a new romance, but I am suspicious. I’ve found that if a man postpones a date, he’s pretty likely to cancel altogether. I suspect it’s more likely that Tom either changed his mind or simply never meant to meet me. That’s a nasty accusation, but after my experience(s) with Pete, as well as one or two other men who showed interest and then flagged, I’m beginning to think that maybe more men than you would think are more interested in getting a a girl to agree to meet than in actually meeting her for a drink. This has happened to me three or four times. This makes me sound bitter, but really, it’s what I’m thinking.